Take a quick musical survey from pop culture and look for the answer to
this question: what is love? You would likely find that love is a
cliché - it’s in the air or some feeling a person experiences - or you
would find that love is used synonymously with lust and sex. Surveys of
teenagers confirm that most describe love as either a feeling or as a
sexual act. In this context, it’s not hard to understand why many of us
struggle to give and receive love.
First, let’s consider how we
define love. Real love would better be describe as unconditional love.
Unconditional love is free from the bonds of the spirit performance.
It does not change based on mood or actions or thoughts. Real love can
only increase and never decreases. This love is embodied in the person
who sees us for all we are, knows all of our faults, understands are
secrets and chooses to love us anyway. This is the love that God has
for us. He knows us for all our faults, all our failings, all our
secrets and He loves us just the same.
Romans 8:38-39 “For I am
convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor
depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us
from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Hear the
weight in that verse!! The things Paul lists here are areas that we are
consumed with! Life and death; demons; the future; power…everything in
all creation! What Paul is saying is that nothing…not even
ourselves…can separate us from God’s love. Nothing!!
Consider
the practical meaning of this. When we fail to accomplish the tasks
we’ve been asked to do…God’s love for us doesn’t change. When we turn
are back on Him or even deny that He exists…His love for us doesn’t
change. When we betray God…His love doesn’t change. No matter how far
we walk away from God, He never ceases to love us. This is
unconditional love.
Now consider the flip side. We can’t earn
God’s love either. When we do everything we’ve been asked to do…God’s
love remains the same. When we teach 100 people about God and they
choose to follow Him…God doesn’t love us any more than He already did.
When we encourage others or help someone in need…God’s love doesn’t
change.
So why is unconditional love so important? Because we
all need to have true acceptance. We need to be fully known and fully
accepted. It’s in our creation DNA that we exist to be fully known and
fully accepted. Our struggle to find acceptance is at the root of our
pain. The spirit of performance that is at work in the world has
convinced us that we are not good enough. From a young age we learn
that if we do the “right” thing, we are rewarded; but if we do the
“wrong” thing, we are punished. We learn to hide our mistakes and stop
asking for help. We don’t admit our struggles and pretend to “have it
all together.” Yet, we hurt because we wonder if we are really loved.
We turn to other things to numb our pain. We engage in sexual activity
in a search for “love”. We hurt and so we in turn hurt other people.
Hurting
people hurt people…. It’s a true saying lived out in our lives
everyday. It’s an endless cycle of pain and destruction. Every bit of
this cycle rests in the heart of the spirit of performance - the spirit
that lives in opposition to God.
So how do break the cycle? How
do we find healing for our own wounds and offer hope to others in pain?
Jesus gave his disciples very few commands, but one defined everything
that He stood for.
"A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will
know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." - John
13:34-35
Love. Nothing more and nothing less. Unconditional,
true love. Love that forgives and hopes and trusts. Love that serves
others. For us to find the healing we need we must first accept God’s
love for us, then turn and give this love to others - even the one’s who
don’t deserve it and even the ones we don’t like.
Consider this passage from 1 Corinthians 13 in closing:
If
I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am
only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of
prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a
faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I
give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but
have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does
not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is
not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of
wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It
always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
